No one ever wants their marriage proposal rejected, but what are you supposed to do if it is?  First, relax, take a deep breath, and follow our helpful tips on what to do if you’ve received a no.

Stay Classy

Keep it classy. Screaming, insults and outbursts aren’t going to help anyone. If there was a way to keep the relationship going, you’ve definitely taken it off the table if you react with a temper tantrum. As odd as it may sound, you’re probably both experiencing a lot of hurt and loss, even the person who said no.

Criticizing or putting your partner (or ex-partner) down only hurts that person more. They may even question their feelings for you. A relationship isn’t necessarily broken after a proposal rejection, but being mean in the moment will certainly hurt your chances. If the relationship is done, what does being mean get you? It won’t heal the damage, and any good feelings you get from it won’t last.

Feel Your Feelings

Whether or not you decide to stay together, both of you need will need to take some time to process your emotions. There’s going to be sadness, anger, rejection, and defensiveness floating around for a while. Don’t fight off those feelings or avoid them. They’re normal, and it’s better to accept them and talk about them with a trusted loved one or professional. 

Processing those emotions can either allow you both to move on together or help you find some peace after the breakup. Either way, try not to pretend as if nothing happened. It did, and it’s okay to feel any type of way about it.

Let Go of the Ring

Letting go of your engagement ring is a difficult but often necessary step if your relationship is no longer salvageable. Using this time to heal and start processing the loss is important. If you’re hanging onto the ring, it can really hinder that progress. Selling your the will typically be the way to go for several reasons.

With the funds you gain back from selling the ring, you can enjoy a much-needed mental break, such as a vacation where you can take some time alone with your emotions. We all dwell on things that didn’t go the way we wanted. However, holding onto the ring can keep your mind in the past where those painful memories can haunt you. By selling the engagement ring, you’ll be able to make a clean break, which will be one less trigger for those unwanted memories.

Don’t Dwell on the Why

The why will probably dominate your thoughts for weeks afterward, but asking why won’t really make things better.

Breakups aren’t easy. Give it time. If you really want to know the reason and can’t move past it, follow up with an email or simple text message that says something along the lines of “Hey, I respect your decision, and this is without any pressure, though I’d like to know why you feel we aren’t right for each other?”

Leave it at that, and don’t feel you need to go back and forth with the person about their decision.

Couple’s or Personal Counseling

If you’re both willing, couple’s counseling is extremely beneficial. It can help you move past the marriage proposal rejection and establish some healthy communication that you might be lacking.

Marriage is a commitment; perhaps there are a few things to consider or work out before you can take that next step. You can also determine if marriage and a future just aren’t in the cards in a much more amenable way.

Hopefully, these tips bring you guidance on how to move forward after a marriage proposal rejection. Remember, it’s not the end of the world, it’s likely a new beginning!